You know those days when EVERYTHING you are doing well in the present moment just get squashed by that incessant voice shouting inside of your head, unkindly reminding you that if you did things differently years ago your life would be so much better now?

 

Right now, my mind is like, Hey, Jason too bad you blew it man!  You should have married 15 years ago and have beautiful kids by now.  If you had, it’s likely that you wouldn’t be flying alone to the Midwest tomorrow to see family, friends and their families.  How much more fun would it be to fly with your wife and kids?  How much easier would packing be if you had your wife’s help?

 

The part of me who is hot on being by myself tonight and being excited about my trip wants to say, “YO mind!  If you haven’t noticed in the almost 42 years you’ve been parked in my cranium, time moves forward not backwards!  I simply can’t go back fifteen years and redo my decisions.”

 

A workable time machine could be lovely and/or nightmarish, but wishing to change the past is like wishing to never die, it ain’t going to happen.

 

I could live regretting that I didn’t marry and have kids at age 29 until the day I die, or I could focus on what I can do from this moment onward.  Putting effort into finding a wife and having kids if I so choose.

 

When I focus forward, I suddenly have freedom and the choice of whether or not I want to create something.

 

What happened and the choices you made in your past are set and unchangeable.  Trying to change the past is like attempting to push a speeding train backwards with a toothpick . . . This experiment is of course hardest on the toothpick.

 

Mourning the past or the things that could have been is an amazingly consistent temptation, as I’m experiencing tonight.   However, focusing our energy on creating what we want in the present and the future is much more practical

 

and leads to the possibility of far better results

 

and I’m waking up alone at 3am tomorrow to go to the airport

 

unless I meet someone and get married overnight

 

but wait you don’t have to be married to travel with someone.

 

Maybe, I’ll by chance run into a dear friend at the airport who is traveling to Minneapolis.

 

Maybe!

 

But that’s in the future.

 

At least I’m out of the past.

 

…For now 🙂

 

 

 

Jason’s book, Awkwardly Awesome: Embracing My Imperfect Best,  is available on Amazon in both Kindle and Paperback formats!

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